Choose Love Parenting
Love is as love does, and it is our responsibility to give children love. When we love children, we acknowledge by our every action that they are not property, that they have rights – that we respect and uphold their rights. Without justice there can be no love. – bell hooks
— The Path
Why Choose Love
As parents, we set the tone. As our awareness grows, change begins and our children change in kind. We find ourselves Responding more than Reacting to behavior. When we do react, which we will because we are human, we forgive ourselves, own it, make repairs and reconnect. As we focus on Connection, cooperation follows. This makes room for more laughter and joy!
Through Choosing Love, our own continued healing and growth is the unexpected gift of parenting. So many of us are breaking generational cycles. As Gabor Maté says, The greatest gift you can give to your children is to heal yourself. He also reminds us, Healing is the journey toward wholeness. In other words, it is not a destination. Let me join you on your journey and support you as you Choose Love.
— Process
Three Big Ideas
Self - Regulation
Commit to growing awareness of our own emotional state and our connection to ourselves.
Connection
The reason for the human experience and the sweetest part of parenting. We take time to connect and delight in our child daily.
Coaching not Controlling
We set Empathic Limits, while welcoming all emotions, holding the understanding that discipline means teaching skills.
— Services
Seen Valued Heard
— The Challenge
Why's it So Hard
When your child is at his worst is when he most needs your compassionate understanding. And when you’re most ashamed of yourself is when you most need your own compassion. — Dr. Laura Markham
The systems do not support parents and families. Humans evolved to live in community. The modern world has disconnected us from each other and nature, leaving families isolated and overwhelmed. We no longer grow up watching the village care for children. We’ve ended up knowing more of what we don’t want to do, than what to do.
Parenting is HARD work. Children ask us to slow down and be present in a world that insists we go go Go! We feel torn and inadequate. They seem manipulative, with unending needs. We hear words coming out of our mouths we swore we’d never say and flashes of rage we never expected. We feel alone, full of guilt and shame. We fear we’re damaging our children.
Parenting is deeply personal. Which makes it easy to feel judged and defensive.
Our child’s behavior takes us back to our own childhood and our relationship with our parents. We feel raw and vulnerable.
It feels so urgent. There are so many books and conflicting ideas. Who has the time to sort through it all?
This is where I come in. Trust me when I say there are no perfect parents and no perfect kids! I know you want to be your best for your child and I know how very hard it is to be a parent. You don’t have to do it alone. I will listen and help you get to know your nervous system, what activates and soothes you and to reframe your child’s behavior, so you see them in a new light that gives you more patience and emotional generosity, to respond instead of react.
Deep change takes time. Change starts from within. The deepest changes come from love and connection. Love is strong! With love and affection, you can raise your children to be cooperative and successful. – Dr. Lawrence J. Cohen
